Deadly, but not Doug (From Times Series)

Deadly, but not Doug

2:03pm Tuesday 27th May 2008

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My wife and eldest daughter Julie enthused at the breakfast table about the delights of The Sun Inn at Dedham, the pretty village on the Essex/Suffolk border, in a where-to-stay feature in Telegraph Travel.

So, although I had booked tickets for the Football League play-offs over the Bank Holiday weekend and publicly announced here that Pat's birthday treat on Sunday was the Leeds United v Doncaster Rovers game, I booked a room at the inn without telling her.



From that moment all I heard was how she was looking forward to the Leeds game and seeing long standing friends, chairman Ken Bates and his wife Suzannah.

Luckily, as it transpired, it took us an hour to get away from the Wembley complex from the multi-storey car park on Saturday, dodging coaches seemingly intent on crushing our Toyota. When we finally got home and I announced that Pat should pack an overnight bag for the next day her reaction was: "That's good - I don't think I could have gone through that nightmare again".

Even in torrential rain the trip to Constable Country - we even stayed in the Constable suite overlooking a church the size of a cathedral - proved a winner. Dinner at The Sun Inn seemed to go down better than the fish and chips at Cleethorpes on our wedding anniversary.

Terry Venables, the former England football manager, once drew attention to my apparent likeness to 'Deadly Doug' Ellis, the former Aston Villa chairman so nicknamed because of his penchant for sacking his managers.

We sat at a table in the Great Hall for lunch at Wembley on Saturday with former World Cup referee Jack Taylor, a colleague when I was PR consultant to the Football League.

While Jack was at the buffet getting some grub, a chap at the next table came over and said: "Excuse me, Mr Ellis, but I saw you sitting with the world famous referee ......".

I interrupted to point out that I was not Mr Ellis. "You're joking", he said. "I was sure you were Deadly".

I agreed that I am indeed deadly, but not the Aston Villa version.

There's one easy way to tell the difference, I pointed out. Doug's got £63 million and a yacht in the South of France.

All I've got is a soft heart and the ability to win brownie points from a long-suffering wife after 41 (or is it 42?) years of marital incompatability.

PS Perhaps Ken and Suzannah Bates will be at Barnet when Leeds play a pre-season friendly in July. If not, we can always pop over to visit hem in their apartment overlooking the harbour in Monaco.