Birthday blog (From Times Series)

Birthday blog

11:48am Tuesday 29th July 2008

• Print
• Email
• Comments(0)

It's my birthday. I was born in the General Strike of 1926... I guess my parents didn't know what to do with themselves.

As a privileged few of my closest friends know I was named after a daschsund. Gospel. Seems my Mum was listening to Toytown on the radio as I prepared to make my grand entrance... and she plumped for the name Dennis (two n's please) despite the radio character being named Dennis the Dachsund.

Believe it or not, but when my brother turned up four years later he was named Larry... Mum was still into Toytown, it seems, and Larry the Lamb was another principal character.

In my time I've had to live with Dennis the Menace - although no-one said Dirty Den to my face.

Anyway my birthday got off to a great start. I took my ageing Toyota to Auto Action in Station Road, Hendon, where that nice Paul Lawrence poo-poohed son-in-law Woody's advice that I might need two new tyres.

"Rubbish", said Paul. "You need four!"

I asked him to try and detect a smell of petrol that Mrs S and daughter Julie have complained about and, after putting the car on the ramp, he diagnosed the need for a new petrol tank.

He told me that tyres came in three categories and that Firestone, the most expensive, probably lasted the longer.

I told him it was my birthday and the question was more how long I was going to last rather than a set of tyres - and opted for the middle catgegory.

Paul has just rung to say he has located a petrol tank and the cost would by £189. "I don't know how these people stay in business", I replied.

So here I am car-less and awaiting a set of new tyres and a petrol tank. Paul just smiled when I said I was hoping for four tyres as a birthday present.

That's the bad news. The day is improving, Twin daughters Claire and Kathryn have arrived laden with gifts of all the things I like... Famous Grouse, smoked salmon, custard, bread and butter pudding, kippers, fish balls and an assortment of sweets.

I also got a card from grandchilden Charlie and Gracie that claims it will make me 10 years younger.

There's a few gags listed from Tommy Cooper, one of my all-time favourite comedians:- 1 What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

2 I Went to the dentist. He said: "Say aaah". I said "Why?" He said: "My dog's dead".

3)Rang up my local swimming baths, I said: "Is that the local swimming baths?" He said: "It depends where you're calling from ".

I feel younger already. You all have a good day too.