The Votes Have Been Counted and Verified (From Times Series)

The Votes Have Been Counted and Verified

1:06pm Monday 16th June 2008

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Hello. I SAID HELLO! You're all wondering what Munkitty Tunkitty's hot tip of the week is this week before you place your bets? I'm sorry to say I think two of my favourites are very probably going to be up and my very favourite is probably going to be out. But soft: there are more Tunkittyesque people lurking within that humble abode in the Borough of Hertsmere...

Yes, it's official: I believe that Alex has driven everybody nuts and will be the first name on most HMs' lips, more's the pity. And Mario will run a close second. And you're probably aware that a disproportionately high level of the voting public are(a) young and (b) female. The result: Stephanie out last week; Alex out this week. Young females often vote against other young females. (Who hastles the Twins from 2007 at nightclubs? It isn't the blokes.) I shall be one sad monkey. You think I'm a sentimental old fool? Try this: go to your local baker or candlestickmaker or wherever you like and hold up a picture of Rachel. "Who's that?" you ask. "Dunno, mate," comes the educated reply. Hold up a picture of Rex. "Who's that?" you ask. Again, the scintillating response "Dunno, mate" is offered. Then you hold up a picture of Alex. "Oh, yeah, there's that girl from 'Big Brother' - the mouthy one. Alex, isn't it?" People know who she is. She's made an IMPACT, which is why out of 100,000 she was one of the successful applicants. However, all isn't lost: Mario is from the Munkitty Tunkitty School of How to Wind People Up as well. His rudeness to Stephanie is well-known; and his house-meetings about health and safety and all that baloney are a bit of a classic. And all that stuff about he's done "Big Brother" tasks before because he's older and he's run a successful high-earning business and been in the army and everyone should follow his lead "But I don't want to come across as the big 'I AM'". LOVE it! I wonder which army he was recruited to? Clearly one which commands its troopers to wear tight multi-coloured lycra costumes and hold boards above their heads and pretend to get married to stunning blondes when they're not really into them. GO MARIO! But if we lose both our heroes over the next couple of weeks, please don't lose heart: Lisa has had a spell at my School as well. She's being all miserable and grumpy and making it clear that you're not there to have a laugh and that the tasks must be taken seriously. She and her boyfriend were agreeing that all these whipper-snappers were spending too long laughing when they're made to wear a funny-looking costume and they need to get all their childish laughing over with and focus seriously on the task, otherwise they won't have a luxury budget and that'll effect Mario's health and safety. You tell 'em.