As Valentine’s day fast approaches, there is seemingly no end to the stream of press releases using the occasion to plug their businesses, promotions or causes.

Of course, Valentine’s day was created by satan in a pact with florists and PR people (you try telling that to the missus), so they are entitled to savage it.

The press releases range from the usual turgid, through the great mass of dull, to the mildly inventive. But some really do deserve a mention.

In second place in The Times Series award for Most Romantic Valentine’s Press Release is the offering from Barnet Primary Care Trust.

Plugging Contraceptive Awareness Week (this week apparently), they write: “Don’t give your partner an unexpected gift this Valentine's day – whether that’s a sexually transmitted infection (STI) or an unplanned pregnancy.”

It’s always difficult finding a suitable but unusual gift. Flowers and chocolate are safe, but predictable. Whereas a baby or chlamydia...

Men are often accused, justifiably, of not understanding women and my policy is to hedge my bets where possible. So if you’re in doubt, I say go for the chlamydia and the chocolate.

When she gets itchy, give her another chocolate. You can’t lose.

But in a deserved first place comes “top London divorce lawyer Ayesha Vardag”.

Truly buying into the spirit of the occasion, Ayesha warns that now is the perfect time for couples to consider a pre-nuptial agreement.

“Cupid’s bow and arrow should be replaced with a pre-nuptial agreement and a pen this Valentine’s Day”, warns her delightful press release.

I know what you’re thinking: ‘why did they mention the pen?’ Of course you’d need a pen, to fill in the agreement. That or a computer and a printer, which is probably more commonly used these days.

It’s a tautology, isn’t it?

But then I realised. Cupid’s bow has been replaced with the agreement, while his arrow becomes the pen. The cleverness of the metaphor makes it more likely that I will consider Ayesha’s sage advice.

And it doesn’t end there.

“Couples who make the decision to move in together on Saturday should also consider their situation from a legal point of view and how limited their rights can be in the event of a break-up, Vardag adds.

“People buying a property together should ensure it’s in both their names. If not, and the relationship breaks down, unmarried partners may find themselves out on the street or engaged in a long and costly legal wrangle for any rights.”

Ayesha’s not pulling any punches any more. You could end up on the street.

Just think about that if you’re considering moving in with your girlfriend this weekend. It might seem like a nice idea. It might be nice to be able to wake up next to each other every morning. It might even be convenient and save money. But it could lead to homelessness.

According to her press release, before Ayesha started working in “big money“ family law (her parenthesis), she worked at the International Courts of Justice in the Hague. The mind boggles.