I read a story yesterday about a dog who swallowed a two-foot stick.

The Great Dane got the offending item lodged between his neck and his stomach while playing in the garden.

It made the headlines, if the quirky ones at that.

But I have a story of my own to tell; my own stick lodged somewhere between my neck and my stomach and it’s freaking my out.

At 25 weeks the baby is measuring around 31cm. As someone who still believes I was in high school five minutes ago, the best way I can comprehend this is by comparison to a maths ruler. You know the kind I mean, the style everyone has in school. And not the little ones that you buy to fit in a pencil case, but the long, fat, practical ones.

In fact to be accurate my baby is bigger than a ruler, if only marginally.

But the point is, how on earth is ruler baby fitting inside me? And unlike the Great Dane who had to contend with length but only slight width issues when he cleverly devoured a tasteless stick, but I imagine the baby is slightly wider than my 30cm school ruler.

I do look in the mirror and think I look pregnant. (Funny that). But 31cm pregnant? Now that’s weird.

What was funnier though was when I told my husband and he said that it wasn’t a surprise to him because that’s how big newborns are. Mmm, I think he might be in for a shock at the birth...