Do you miss John Prescott? You remember him, until just over a year ago he was Deputy Prime Minister. He got a big house, courtesy of the taxpayer and two lovely jags. Did you ever wonder what he actually did for his money. Well I am convinced he is one of the reasons Labour won 3 terms under Tony Blair. I'm also convinced that the reason Gordon Brown's popularity has slumped is because Prescott has retired. Here's why and here's why I think Brian Coleman is his apprentice.
Tony Blair got away with many things in his time. When we voted Labour in 1997 and Labour had the 180 seat majority we expected great things. Like all Prime Ministers, events happen and he got blown off course. Did it stop him winning massive majorities? No of course it didn't.

He had a team of PR genius's who had a secret weapon - John Prescott. If Labour had a tricky policy announcement, who would announce it? John Prescott. He'd mangle the announcement beyond recognition and then when the dust settled, Blair would say "What John meant was this". When they were in real trouble he'd thump someone, buy a new jag or go for a day's croquet with his team in full view of the Sun and the Daily Mail.

They never figured it out. Ever. They'd rail against Prescott citing it as "evidence" that the government had lost the plot. The only trouble is that none of Prescott's sins mattered. To the great unwashed public it was all good sport. He was the new Les Dawson. He was the diversion and by the time the ripples had calmed, the original scandal, where real issues threatened the government had become last weeks news and Blair sailed on. In the words of the Rolling Stones "Who wants yesterdays papers, no one in the world".

Now this clearly hadn't gone unnoticed in Barnet. The Tories, having decided to abandon their values lock, stock and two smoking barrel's, decided to to have their own Prezza. No jags here though, just a fleet of taxi's, no comfy house in the country, just a string of cushy jobs with big fat juicy allowances.

His job? When the Tories in Barnet are mired in trouble, up he steps to make an outrageous claim. We all go bonkers and forget about the real issue. The one which could cost his friends their jobs.

At present I can think of four such issues. These have all been pushed out of the spotlight by Coleman's Olympic outburst.

1. The flat screen tellies which we've spent nearly £100,000 on. These have been purchased to save the council an annual bill of £4,500 hiring TV's for conferences. Many of these have ended up on the desks of senior executives such as Leo Boland. They've even put a freeview connection in so he can watch CBBC's when he's supposed to be organising election's. The council have even had the audacity to claim they need them for "disaster planning centres in times of emergency". Well I hope you are reassured to know that if the Aliens invade Grahame Park, the Barnet Council disaster team will be able to watch Teletubbies. Lets face it we all know there would be a news blackout on the story.

2. The £1,400,000 spent on new laptop computers for the council. Many of these have been put straight into storage at the cost of £28,000 per annum because they bought too many. They even bought warranties and spare batteries for them, even though they had hundreds in storage if one went wrong.

3. Aerodrome road. In february this was on time and on budget. How is it doing now? Well the council won't tell us. The report for councillors has been deemed secret. The gossip is that it will be several million pounds. Now the Tories put up Council tax when they first got in to plug a hole in the reserves. Unless they plan to run with a defecit, something they derided Alan Williams Labour administration for, then guess what is coming next Spring. BIG TAX RISES.

Now who's heads has Brian Coleman tried to save with his gambit. Well all of these mistakes are ultimately the responsibilty of the Cabinet of Barnet Council (yes Brian and his chums). So he is heroically trying to save his own allowances.

Now you may dismiss all of this as a conspiracy theory, but ask yourself this. If even Boris Johnson, Tory Mayor of London said Coleman was out of order for his Olympic comments, how come not a single Barnet Tory has let out so much as a peep (other than to tell me I've been very nasty to Brian). Do they agree with him or are they hoping his "Prescott Gambit" worked and keeping their heads down.

Oh yes I said there were four stories, but I only listed three. Well watch this space, you won't be disappointed.